It’s hard to believe that December is in full swing. This is always a crazy busy time of year for each of us, but this year in December, I will be welcoming our third child to the world. I am on the countdown, and with two weeks and four days left until my due date, I am ready. Or so I thought…
This morning in particular was pure chaos. My older two children had their annual Christmas play at church. With the best of intentions we called it an early night last night, knowing we would need to be up bright and early to prepare. Five pregnant lady bathroom breaks and two and a half hours of insomnia at 2 a.m. later, it was morning, and I found myself struggling to roll my round little belly out of bed to start the day. When I finally made it to my feet, I woke to find the mountain of dishes I had ignored the day before still waiting on me. With no clean forks to my name, I had to start my day with dishes just so I could feed my kids breakfast. Forty minutes later I was cooking eggs over-easy, just the way the kiddos like them, and to my dismay, I broke two yolks which never happens. Eventually breakfast was served, kids were dressed, we were ten minutes late to Sunday School but we prevailed and we made it. I had ended up with an entire fifteen minutes to shower myself, dress, makeup, and do something with my hair before rushing out the door.
And it was then that it hit me…in two weeks, I will still have all of these things to do PLUS a newborn baby to nurse and dress and care for. How had this not dawned on me before 37 weeks of pregnancy? I had spent months picturing the snuggles, knowing I had sleepless nights coming, knowing having a newborn after all of this time will be an adjustment, but it hadn’t become reality until this morning.
In my anxiousness, my grouchiness, and waddling in nine-months-pregnant-glory into church, I was having the “Oh sh*t” moment of realization of what is to come. I sat in the pew this morning, finally having delivered my children to their posts for the Christmas program, and then I began to watch them, donning white alter robes, angel wings and halos.
In the haste of the season, in all of the to-dos, it is so easy to lose our focus. We get so caught up in the decorations, in the gifts and wrapping, in the carrying on of tradition, in the “have-to’s” and “need-to’s” that we can’t see the heaven that is right in front of us. As much as I was cursing inside my head the entire morning as I let the hustle of the day erode my patience, I am so thankful for the gift of watching my children this morning, serving in our church in the most beautiful way, bringing to mind the purpose of the season, and reminding us all that heaven is truly a place on Earth.
In two weeks, or two days….who knows….I will become a mother for the third time. Things will be difficult, I will be tired beyond words, I will have less time for myself, for my husband, for my other two kids, but what I will gain is immeasurable. And the truth is that no matter how much I “ready” myself, we are never truly ready for God’s greatest gifts in our lives…and that is what makes them so incredibly remarkable.